Friendships, relationships, school, and just life in general; we are constantly having to move forward whether we like it or not. Sometimes we can assume it’s for the best and then sometimes we know that it is only going to cause pain. Recently I have been going through quite a few aspects in my life where I am having to”move forward”.

Recently I have been reunited with a person I was once extremely close to and they were someone that I loved dearly, but we grew apart. Well here we are two years later back together, but we are still trying to figure things out. There is just something so comforting about being with someone again who at one time meant the world to you. I do not feel like either one of us ever got to the point where we were actually angry with each other, we both just knew we needed time apart at the time. Things are different this time around, and in some ways I am happy about that but in other ways I actually miss the person they used to be. I know it has been two years, and that we both have changed but there is something that is still there that is drawing me in. The problem however, is that I am scared out of my mind to get close with anyone; people always have a tendency to leave in my life and that is one reason why I feel like I tend to push people away.

College is a complete and utter Hell Hole, don’t let anybody tell you differently. I was that girl who thought she had her whole life figured out when I began applying to college. Well here I am in my dorm room at the last college I ever pictured myself at and I have completely changed my mind on my major. I have no idea whatsoever of what I want to do with the rest of my life, but here I am just moving forward. There is nothing more scary than the feeling of uncertainty and that is a feeling that is currently consuming my entire life. I am scared constantly of not knowing what is going to happen, I don’t know if this returning relationship will work (or even if the other person really wants it to work), I don’t know what I want my major to be, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I have no other option than to move forward.

I usually tend to like to keep to myself on certain matters such as these that I am discussing, but I feel like there are most likely other people in this world that are just trying to move forward like I am and they need to know that they aren’t alone on this path.

“Remember forward movement. Forward is the way of trust. Forward is the way of forgiveness. Forward is the way of action. Forward is the way of healing. Forward is essentially life.” -Victoria Erickson (Author, Edge of Wonder)

We move forward and it will change us more than likely, we just have to determine if the change is either good or bad and then we deal with the outcome one day at a time and just continue to move forward.