In high school I was that girl who tried to be involved in absolutely everything. I was never a good athlete, so I had to stick more to the academic side. I was a member of the archery team for 4 years, a member of student council, class secretary, HOSA secretary, SADD treasurer, technology club secretary, Junior Civitan President, a first priority leader for a year, and also at one point in time I was a group leader in my youth group. I was doing everything I could do just to improve my college applications. I also participated in our schools Beauty Pageant every year since 3rd grade, and was also a homecoming maid my freshman and senior years. Doing all these things made me feel like I was actually doing something with my life. However, when I look back on all of these things I have to stop and ask myself “Why did you do all of that?”. I mean honestly, I truly don’t feel like I enjoyed high school as much as I should have, simply by the fact that I was always stressed over one of the clubs.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved being a busy body. It almost made me feel like I was needed and like I almost had my life together (I said almost). I was just a high school student trying to be involved.

When I look back on the times I spent hours just crying over stress (I didn’t even know what stress was), I just wonder why I put myself through that. Pageants are honestly some of my biggest regrets, but I still love them. I made my parents spend so much money on me to participate in a simple high school beauty pageant, I would starve myself so that I would look just right in that overpriced piece of fabric that I would only ever wear one time, I whitened my teeth to the point where my gums actually hurt, and my heart would be broken into pieces if I didn’t place. Pageants can be very cruel, but not near as cruel as the girls in them. People think that girls who do beauty pageants are all angels, but I am here to tell you that they are not. Teenage girls are vicious, and they show no pity (especially when a crown is involved). Girls will question you down over how you will wear your hair, what your dress looks like, and even about what color lipstick you will wear (Is it really that big of a deal?), it was honestly like being interrogated.

Now that I am beginning to see all the different aspects of the world, I realize how much time I wasted by trying to make myself something that I simply wasn’t. I am not saying that I am ashamed of how I lived my life during high school, I am simply trying to tell girls who are going through this that it is not everything. There is a whole new world outside of those classrooms and stages. Enjoy your time together with your friends and make good memories, those are the moments you will truly cherish. Winning that crown or trophy does not define you, do not let that be your only legacy; let people remember your personality and your kindness to others. Your crown may tarnish, but inner beauty lasts forever.